(via threetimesgood)
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People blocking my path bc they are slow-moving, e.g. elderly people and others with mobility issues: Take your time, no problem, please do not apologize, I am in no rush 👍🏻❤️
People blocking my path because they are not paying one bit of attention: I feel murder in my heart. I feel seething, bone-crushing rage. You had to stand and stop in a fucking doorway? What are you doing on your phone? Are you tapping your last will and te
(via karen-pagee)
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(Source: dongbearer, via dailyhangover)
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(Source: gaskarht, via confirmance)
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did anyone else have the fucking. dolphin girls at school
they were like horse girls except they couldnt ht gfbfnfbnfj eb do sorry a mojth started attacking me
its dive bombing me like its world war 2 im just tryn to shit
toilet roll now controlled by enemy forces
anyway dolphin girls where like horse girls but since they couldnt get their own dolphins they always had 24 books called like “sparkle glimmer cove” wherever they went
(via foreveror-never)
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a muggleborn student coming to hogwarts with a thermos flask and filling it with tea in the morning so it stays hot all day and their pureblood friends are like “whoa what spell did you use for that” and they’re like “?????? it’s just a thermos???” and all the pureblood students start pointing their wands at cups and saying “THERMOS”
THERMOS
plot twist: it works, mugs suddenly start keeping tea at the perfect temperature for the caster all day. students in muggle studies start experimenting with other muggle jargon and a new generation of magic spells are born, propelling the stagnated wizard community into the technological age
*points wand at book* KINDLE!!!! *book propels itself into fireplace and bursts into flames* I FUCKED UP I FUCKED UP
(via foreveror-never)
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some of you have never seen any of the barbie movies and it shows
(via foreveror-never)
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future schools are going to need a whole new class made in order to understand this
(via confirmance)
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(via dailyhangover)
